Or maybe I should be asking, Why did it get so complicated?
I started out with a Giant Avail, just to see how I liked riding, turns out its pretty brilliant, so I treated myself to my shiny carbon Roubaix with aspirations of fabulous summer rides with friends, good cake stops and maybe even a few beers.
Its not quite like that is it.
I am lucky to live in such a beautiful area of England, just at the edge of the Lakes and beautiful scenery only 10 min by bike away. But living in the Lake District also has its challenges. Its not the easiest place when new to riding. Getting up the hills is just as much a mental strength then a physical one and Im not to good at either, to be honest.
And then theres the fabulous summer rides. Do I have to remind you of where I live again? Rain, rain, rain, rain,rain, rain,, oh and guess what? Yep, you've guessed it, rain. We still go out, in between showers and hope we stay dry, but its not the picture I had originally painted.
And then there's the question of fitness. I really thought I would be riding for a few months and feel the benefit, not feel like I was going backwards. One step forward, 100 steps back. But no one else I ride with has this issue, hence I get even more frustrated with myself, especially when I really want to catch up and be able to ride beside them, not behind.
So Im really trying to prepare myself for this summer, trying to get some good rides in, and throwing in a few climbs so I can ride with my friends this summer and enjoy myself. I even considered entering a few sportives just to test my fitness and give me a challenge, as well as something to work towards. (After today's, twitter conversation, I may now actually be put off taking part in any sportives)
But Im beginning to wonder when it stopped being about riding, when I started getting to the point where Im brought to tears because I couldn't get up a climb, or my average speed isnt as fast as I wanted it too. Maybe it was at the same time that a sportive became a race, and doing 25 miles wasn't really a ride. When did it become so complicated???