Friday, 18 February 2011

My type of rider

As discussed in earlier blogs, I am learning how to ride a bike, and the more time I spend in the saddle the more I learn, sometimes the more I question as well.

But I am definatly learning the type of riders there are and where I fit into the mix.

So first, I guess I should explain what I mean by "types" of riders.

Today I will concentrate on the Roadies, Mountain Bikers will come at a later date.

So we have firstly:

The Racer- oh you know the ones, slimmer, faster, meaner then any of the roadies. The ones who speed past you when your just riding to the supermarket. They wear team kit all of the bloody time, except when its dirty, then its Assos and Gore all the way. They ride for miles, work part time, drink espresso, carb load, hang out with other racers and have skinny girlfriends with big breasts.

The Mile Junky- 20 miles is a ride around the block to these lot. They must ride everyday, and if they dont finish off the week with a long, long ride its because they have the shits. They ride no matter what the weather and their partners would forget they're around except for the pile of washing in the basket. They also carb load, but dont shy away from cake if there is a cafe placed about 50 miles in. They ride alone a lot, mainly because the rest cant fucking keep up! They usually belong to a club and are almost always in the front of the pack.

The Trainer- train, train, train, train. Increase stamina, increase miles, increase heart rate, decrease heart rate, lose weight, gain weight, diet, drink special drinks, eat special food, spend loads of money on gadgets, document every fucking little thing, including the size, shape and smell of their bowel movements and the colour of their wee.They know everything you need to know to make your bike lighter, faster, more comfortable and more expensive. They are all about the bike. Im not quite sure what they are training for though??? But they are fit and if the weather is really bad, you will find them on the turbo/rollers or in the gym.

The All Talk- knows everything, knows everyone, talks shit, rarely ever gets on the bike. They always have an excuse, to busy, injured, bike being fixed, hungover, sick, working, or even watching on tv. They have an opinion about every rider, bike, or piece of kit. They walk into their local bike shop, shouting out the names of all the staff, and rarely buy anything because, well, they dont need anything if there not riding. They tell stories about a ride they did in 1995 or about when they met Lance Armstrong. Oh I think they need help.

The Leisure Rider- The ones who NEVER wear a helmet. I cant work them out. They obviously enjoy cycling and are the reason why trouser clips are still on the market. They ride lovely shopping or leisure bikes but dont feel the need for cycling kit at all. But why?? I kinda like them because they seem so happy just to plod along, enjoy the view and the sunshine and they dont need to spend money to get on a bike.

The Pick n Mix- The ones who are happy just to be on a bike, long rides, short rides, cake rides, shopping rides. They ride nice bikes, they spoil themselves with one or two great pieces of kit, then shop discount for everything else. They may partake in sportives and club rides but aren't going to set any record times. They are the ones who watch races and cheer with the biggest smiles on their faces, mainly because they are thinking, thank fuck it isnt me, but they secretly daydream that their stood at the top of the TDF podium (or at least that their shagging the winner)

I think I aspire to be a Pick n Mix but sometimes I stress out a bit to be one. I constantly want to be better then I am, and put myself down for not being faster and fitter. But Im learning and now that I know what type of rider I want to be, maybe it will be easier for me to get there.

6 comments:

  1. Pick n Mix is the way to go :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hehehe, yes the trainer is a funny one. I always wonder what they are ACTUALLY training for!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Honest.... awesome. You hit the nail on the head! We all learning to be cyclists, and every day we get on the saddle we become a better person for it. Keep pushing the pedals, but quit daydreaming... set goals instead. Dreams are just wishes, goals become reality.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hilarious! But there are Pick n Mixers who couldn't give one crap about bike racing at all :) I get really tired of all the other types.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm a devout Leisure Rider. Nothing to work out, we (many of my friends are adherents, as well) just refuse to believe you need special gear to do what you did in your swimsuit or trousers as a child. Viva la Copenhagen! =)

    ReplyDelete
  6. I am a commuter and utility/transport cyclist. Sometimes I like to go fast to feel the freedom of self powered movement. I ride with clips and straps, but rarely the spandex padded shorts. I smile as I ride, and greet

    ReplyDelete