Tuesday, 27 July 2010

a new love

I love cycling. Its not just a hobby anymore its more like my vice. I traded smoking for cycling, better for my health but not for my wallet. It wasn't good enough that I had a Giant Avail, I needed something better, lighter, hopefully faster so I bought a Specialized Roubaix, YAHHHH! I'm getting up hills I only dreamed about last year and loving every minute of it.


There is a few things about cycling that I have learned that are a bit useful to know.

1. Its a bit competitive. For fucks sake its not a race! Ok so you can get to the top of the hill faster or you can ride further. Your not Alberto Contador and my ride out after work is not the TDF!

2. It can be a bit unsociable. As long as you are on a bike I have time to see you but to all my non cycling friends I apologize. I get out on the bike after work, get home around 730-800, I shower, eat and sit for an hour before I go to bed.

3. OMG it is so expensive! My credit card company loved the day I got on a bike and still love it! One pair of padded shorts is not enough, actually to be honest neither is two. Then you need the jerseys, oh the beautiful jerseys. Waterproofs that are small enough to fit in your jersey pockets, gilets, socks, gloves, helmets, carbon fibre soled shoes, hats, oakleys,jackets, tights, energy drinks, energy gels, energy bars, bottles, magazines, books, overshoes, dvds, turbo trainers, computers, heart rate monitors, lights, locks, oh and might I add one bike is not enough either! And mtb kit isn't really transferable so if you ride both, well your broke!

4. Woman specific ranges suck. I do not like pink! I do not enjoy the fact that the buyers and designers assume that because I am a woman I will be impressed with the pink, flowery shit they try to sell me. I also don't like the fact that men try to sell me it! Like they have any idea how the female body works! Why do you think they invented vibrators for fucks sake! And when I go into a bike shop or on the Internet I hate the fact that the woman's range is tiny. I get to choose from 5 jerseys then when you check out the men's section there are hundreds of different choices. Im pretty certain woman cycle so get your your fucking fingers out and give us a selection. It is not the dark ages, a lot of time woman earn more then men and believe me they are much better shoppers, so if you want to make money start making non pink woman specific stuff!

5. Its fucking frustrating! So frustrating in fact I cry, often. There are rides that beat me, that strip me down and leave me feeling like I will never get there. There are days when I feel like the breaks are on and your riding into the wind head first, like your pulling a piano!Then there are days when you feel like a fucking super hero, flying through the air with the greatest of ease! Pedals move so quickly and you never want to get off. No two rides are alike and believe me there are days when you want to throw your bike in river and watch it wash away all your frustrations.

But cycling is by far the best sport you can be a part of. Most of the people you meet are amazing and no other sport carries such a passion and excitement. You will find yourself dedicated to hitting the road or trail and you will get such satisfaction from getting up that hill, or winning that race. It makes you a better person and it allows you freedom to see the world with a whole new perspective. Once you get on the bike its impossible to put it down again. I have never been so proud of myself before, so in love with a sport that I want everyday to involve cycling in some form. I am now a dedicated cyclist and cant wait to see what tomorrows ride will bring. So get on the bike and enjoy! I promiss you wont regret it.

Sunday, 18 July 2010

sore bottom and pride

There comes a time in every cyclists life when they experience a good crash. I have fallen over sideways many times but never flew off the bike before.

Stationary falls are my specialty, forget I'm clipped in and over I go. I have had plenty of purple bruises to show for it but my ego was always hurt the most. But this time was special, I actually flew off the bike. Like a bird diving for a fish in the sea I dove for the pavement. Thank goodness it was not head first (wouldn't want to damage my interesting face) but instead I managed to land on my elbow and my left hip. It hurt!

Sprawled across the pavement I closed my eyes, I needed to assess my pain and well take a breath.

The worst part was yet to come. As I was cruising down the road I passed a woman and her child, they would have been the first to see me fly. When i was lying on the pavement bike lying somewhere next to me I was waiting. Waiting for the lady to say, "are you ok?" but no voice appeared, had I gone deaf, or was she mute? Nope, when my eyes were shut her and her evil child walked over the bike and possibly me and kept going. Stupid Bitch would have been the words I used if I wasn't feeling so retarded. When I was sitting myself up and shaking out the cobwebs a man in a jeep was laughing and decided to increase his speed going through the puddle to attempt and soak me as he drove past.

It was another cyclist who came over to ensure I was ok, and offered a hand of scraping me off the pavement.

So is this what human kind has developed into? Is it only cyclists who are pleasant? How does that lady who passed me think that its ok to teach her child to ignore the injured? What the fuck is going on in this world? Or is it just the British?

Being Canadian I was raised with manners! Manners that I still remember to this day. I say please when asking for something and thank you when its received. I reply with you re welcome when someone thanks me, and I always fucking stop and ensure someone is ok if they fall over! How would that lady feel if her little girl had been hit by a car and I just stepped over the brat and kept going? Or how would the man driving a jeep feel if he got into an accident and I decided not to call him an ambulance? How the fuck would you feel if it were you?

You may laugh or worst you may think, well its happened to me before. So if its happened to you then that means there are more ignorant people in this little world. Is it incest that is making these people fucking stupid? Maybe British law should be changed so you cant marry your cousins!

Its not fucking hard to ask if someone is ok if they fall over, even if they are not on a bike. It only takes a second. Or is your time so fucking important that you feel you cant spare a few minutes?

So now I have a choice.

I can either change my attitude and be as rude as everyone else, or I can continue being the Canadian I was raised to be and say thank you, when someone spares a second out of their busy day to stop and say "are you ok?"

Sunday, 11 July 2010

without technology

I recently went on holiday to California (i will post a blog about this later) and brought my laptop, and my mobile phone. I always thought that I was the kind of person who could live without the latest technology, that a day without my mobile, or twitter, wouldn't phase me. Then disaster struck. No signal! No wifi! OMG no fucking signal!!!! For hours, actually for more then 24 hours! I have never in my life checked my phone so many times and every time I turned it on my heart sunk, I got cranky, I started to sweat and I was on edge. For fuck sake! I lived in the bloody wilderness for years and didn't even own a laptop until 4 years ago. I am strong, and I can survive Lake District winters without shooting myself, and yet I panic when I don't have a mobile phone signal????? Ok so your laughing... thinking, god this woman is a loser. You roll your eyes and think, I could do it, it wouldn't phase me, I don't need to be connected to the outside world. HA HA then I challenge you. Give me your mobile and your computer, your tv (did I mention I had no tv either) and then survive for 24 hours without them. In the time you are without it keep track of all the brilliant things you could tweet about, or when you need to search for something because your lost or bored. How will you spend your time?